Warning: This post is satire. Traps are gay.

Introduction

Our modern society has been plagued for some time with the question: are traps gay? Today, after many months of extensive investigation and statistical research, I have finally been able to reach the truth.

Traps are _not_ gay.

Why, you ask? The answer is surprisingly simple. However, before we delve deep into the complex numbers and facts, we must first ask ourselves, what is a trap?

With that question, I propose a definition. The adorable smile. The supple features. The feminine penis. This, ladies and gentleman, is a trap.

With that out of the way, it’s no surprise that any reasonable human looking at the above image would think to themselves, “this isn’t gay, this is just a girl, right?” and to that I can only say no, but it’s a feminine male, which is even better.

The facts

According to Wikipedia, the human population is approximately 1:1, with 107 boys for every 100 girls. This means that, despite the numbers being extremely close, the human population contains more males than females (according to reputable scientists, anyway).

What does this mean?

Consider the following: You’re bored and browsing the internet. There’s nobody around, and your phone is displaying /r/anime. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot it:

A cute anime girl. Female, this time. Disgusting. However, if you’re in the majority of the human population and are male, it’s not very gay. In fact, you could almost say it’s 0% gay. If you’re a female, however, it’s 100% gay. By performing some complex mathematical proofs, we can reach the conclusion that this 100% gay for 49% of the population, which equates to 49% total ‘gayness’.

Now, of course, we must consider the opposite. What if that picture were of a strong, masculine man? Well, the statistics would logically become reversed. I’ll skip the laborious detail, but essentially, this would equate to 51% total ‘gayness’.

And now, finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Our cute little trap is finally being put under scrutiny, and at last able to prove his heterosexuality. Assume, for a moment, that a ‘trap’ is a feminine male (which they are). This would mean that they are approximately 50% masculine (most of which being sourced from the feminine penis, a trait all traps share) and 50% feminine (the rest of the body). Now, for any given human, a being that is 50% male and 50% female would logically be 50% gay, no matter your gender. Therefore, for 100% of the population, traps are 50% gay.

But wait… what? Isn’t the argument that traps aren’t gay? Traps being 50% gay doesn’t make traps 0% gay! And, of course, you’d be correct.

Our current statistics show that females are 49% gay, traps are 50% gay, and males are 51% gay.

You could theoretically equate the ‘gayness’ of traps to the outcome of a flip of a coin. For example, if the chance of a trap being gay was heads, and the chance of a trap not being gay was tails, the logic would be that traps are gay 50% of the time.

However, tails never fails. Therefore, traps are not gay 100% of the time.

Traps, as such, are not gay.

The conclusion

_{^{Look at him, all wide eyed and bright smiled. Not gay at all.}}